The Still of Night
by Ria Cullen
Summary: Takes place in New Moon. Bella never did go cliff diving. In an attempt to move on for Charlie, she decides to go to the University of Alaska where she meets Miles. Bella notices he is very different from the other students, in yet there is something oddly familiar about him. Which Cullen does he know personally? They may be able to help each other more than either of them know.
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: I own nothing Twilight-related, Stephenie Meyer gets all the credit. No copyright infringement intended. **

**A/N: This is my first Fanfiction that is not a O/S. It takes place in **_**New Moon**_**. Bella never did go cliff diving and Edward has not come back to Forks. BPOV. Please read and review.**

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**The Still of Night**

**Chapter One**

I woke to the smell of something burning. At first, I panicked, sitting up much too quickly which made my head throb. Morning headaches were a normal occurrence over the past year. My tendency to experience regular nightmares and crying spells did not make for restful nights. The morning light was just beginning to filter through my window. I got up in search of the offending odor, wondering how Charlie managed to sleep though it.

Still in a daze, I hobbled down the stairs to the kitchen. Charlie was aggressively scrapping at eggs in a frying pan over the stove, oblivious to the smoke emanating from the toaster behind him. I quickly released the charred pieces of bread from the toaster and tossed them discreetly into the trash. "Dad, are you trying to burn the house down?!" I exclaimed, now fully awake.

He was losing his battle with the eggs, as they were turning brown and sticking to the pan. "Just thought I'd let you have the day off from cooking since you leave tomorrow," he said.

"Well, do me a favor and go out to eat while I'm at school," I said as I grabbed the pan from him and tried to salvage as much breakfast as possible. Some of it still looked edible.

Today was my last day at Forks before I left for my first semester at the University of Alaska. I didn't arrive at this decision on my own. After graduation, Charlie gave me the ultimatum to either leave Forks and go to the college of my choosing, or go live with my mother in Florida. Charlie thought a change of scenery was what I needed to come back to life. Little did he know that the only thing I needed was completely out of my reach.

I had opted to go to school because I was not ready to face my mother. There was a downside to her knowing me better than anyone else, for she had the ability to read me like an open book. I cringed at the thought of facing her many questions about _him._ Even though I missed her so much, living with her just wasn't an option at this point.

"Are you sure you don't want me to fly with you tomorrow?" Charlie asked, adding salt to the chewy eggs.

"Yeah, don't worry dad. I'll be fine." Traveling would be the easy part, after all. What was difficult for me to come to accept was the idea of leaving Forks. It wasn't as if I were leaving much of a life behind. My friends at school had given up on me months ago; even the ever eager Mike Newton called it quits and stopped trying to talk to me. It was the life I once lead that I was leaving behind- the life I allowed to slip away. For months, I had used this dreary town as a crutch. It was the sum of the physical evidence that reminded me _he _was real. However, I also knew this place served as a painful reminder of what I had lost.

oOoOoOoOoOoOo

Jake made me promise at least four times when I saw him last that I would visit him today. He was less thrilled than Charlie about my choice to go to school. When I pulled up to the small red house, he was already waiting for me outside. He looked like he didn't know whether to smile or frown, his features caught somewhere in-between.

"Hey Bella," he said as I approached him. He was attempting a smile now, for my benefit probably. He held out his hand to me and I took it willingly. I would miss his warmth, my personal sun.

We walked together silently to the garage where we had, well, he had, spent countless hours working on our motorcycles. Those were the days I heard _his_ voice so clearly in the face of danger. I no longer heard the voice in my head, though. I blamed myself for being too greedy in the beginning, believing I had sensitized myself to the effects of adrenaline. Yet there the bikes were; another reminder of why leaving Forks was probably a good idea for my own sanity.

Jacob sighed, still holding tightly to my hand as we sat in his newly completed Rabbit. "So, tomorrow's the big day, huh?"

I took this as a rhetorical question because I didn't want it to lead into another argument. Jacob thought it was unsafe for me to leave. He warned me the pack would not be able to protect me from Victoria that far from home. I had tried to reason with him, arguing that there had been no signs of Victoria since the spring. I tried to convince him that she probably had lost interest, even if I wasn't sure if I believed that myself.

"Bella," he said softly, turning my face to look at him, "please don't go."

"I have to Jacob. Charlie isn't giving me a choice. I'll be safe at the university. She wouldn't dare come after me with the risk of hundreds of witnesses." I hoped I sounded confident as my legs shook slightly. "Just promise me you will look after Charlie," I said.

"You know I will," he promised. And he was right; I did have full confidence in him. I could always count on Jacob. I laid my head on his shoulder.

"I know the real reason why you're going all the way to Alaska," he said. "You think you can keep her away from the people you care about, even me."

I didn't reply. I knew it was pointless to refute his accusation. He had me figured out.

"Dammit, Bella. Stop being so self-sacrificing! Consider keeping yourself alive just this once! Don't you understand what it would do to me if you got hurt?"

"I could say the same to you, Jake," I said with tears beginning to form. "I'll be safe and I'll come back. I promise." We held each other tightly long after the sun had set.

oOoOoOoOoOoOo

That night, I sat in bed willing myself to become exhausted enough to sleep till morning. I never turned out the light until I could hardly keep my eyes open. In a world where superstitions are supposed to be false, in the still of night, they seemed all too possible. I imagined Victoria crawling her way though my window. I thought of _his_ cold arms holding me as I fell asleep. No matter how hard I tried not to think of these things, my mind wandered in the dark.

I had most of my belongings packed in a single duffle bag and my backpack. I walked to my closet to look for my purse; maybe I would find a use for it in Alaska. It was on the floor of my closet. When I picked it up, I noticed one of the floorboards moved, as if it were loose. I crouched down onto the floor and slowly lifted it up. I could see there was something underneath.

"Holy crow," I whispered.

Here, beneath my feet the whole time, were the plane tickets Carlisle and Esme had given me, and the CD with _his_ compositions… and the pictures which were missing from my photo album. I quickly flipped the pictures over. Just the memories of his perfection were painful enough.

Even though these items made the hole in my chest begin to throb, I was oddly relieved. I no longer needed Forks to serve as my evidence of his existence. I had all of the physical proof I needed, and I could take it with me.


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter Two: **

The bus I took from the airport stopped in what seemed to be the main parking lot of the campus. As I got off of the bus, I stepped into a puddle and my sock got wet. I struggled to keep my balance with heavy bags on both shoulders.

I managed to find my dorm room at the very end of the hall. I was partially dragging my bags, frustrated with my lack of any physical strength. I was not sure if my roommate had arrived yet. I had received a letter from the university a few weeks ago, encouraging freshman roommates to write each other in order to make the move easier. I had thought about writing an email for a brief moment, until I realized that there was absolutely nothing about myself I would be willing to share with a total stranger. My dorm mate had apparently not gotten around to it either.

I took a deep breath while standing outside of the door. Someone had decorated it with colorful paper letters; "Amy and Isabella" it said. Wonderful, this would be like my first day at Forks all over again.

I opened the door to find an empty room. I instantly felt better. I heaved my bags onto one of the mattresses. I sat down at what would be my desk and pulled out the cell phone Charlie insisted I bring to check in with him. Before I could finish dialing, the door to my room was kicked open and slammed against the wall.

The girl, whom I assumed to be Amy, had golden girls and was wearing tacky purple sweats which she had zipped down a bit too far in order to show off her cleavage. She seemed flustered as she threw her luggage on the floor. The room suddenly felt much smaller.

She turned to face me and stared at my plainness for an agonizingly long moment. "You Isabella?" she asked.

"It's just Bella, actually."

"Yeah," she replied, hinting that she clearly did not care. "I'm Amy, but I let's not waste our breath getting to know each other. I'm switching rooms as soon as possible. I have friends sharing a suite in building two; this must have just been a stupid mistake." She sat down on her mattress and took out a cigarette. She made someone like Jessica appear warm and fuzzy.

"I think I'll go walk around campus," I said as I grabbed my jacket.

Well this whole plan was backfiring on me. Why did I leave Charlie and Jake again? Why did I turn down moving to the warmth and sun of Florida, moving instead to a location even colder than Forks? I had never felt so alone. I had tried to be invisible my senior year and protect myself with an impenetrable shell of numbness. However, I had taken for granted the love I did receive from those who still cared about me.

I tried not to cry and make an idiot out of myself. I worried about what Amy would think about my nightmares where I woke up screaming. Even though her comment was demeaning, I hoped her room switch worked out. Better to be alone rather than humiliated. I was not here to make friends anyway.

I walked down a trail around the outside of the dorms. It was a rather nice day. It couldn't have been much warmer than sixty degrees but the sun felt pleasant. There were large pine trees everywhere. The terrain felt similar to Forks. I took comfort in this.

Once my head was cleared, I walked to the registrar's office to get a copy of my schedule. It had a list of generic sounding courses like College Algebra. At the top next to my name was a line for my major. "Undeclared," it stated. I had left that blank on my application. I figured I did not really care about a degree. It was too difficult to plan any sort of future without him.

When I made it back to my dorm, the sun was setting and Amy was nowhere to be found, although the room now smelled of smoke. I picked up her cigarettes she had left on her desk and quickly tossed them out the window. I called Charlie and told him the campus was beautiful. I lied and said my roommate was very nice, but was honest when I told him I missed him.

After I hung up, I changed into sweats and I began unpacking my things. It didn't take long to put away my limited wardrobe. When I came across the items that I had found under the floorboards at home, I placed the plane tickets in my desk drawer along with the pictures of him that I had placed in an envelope. I held the CD, reading and rereading the names of the compositions written in perfect script. I considered playing some of the songs. Maybe it would be soothing.

Right on cue, Amy sauntered into the room. She didn't bother to look at me. She was turning around in circles looking for the little paper box that was probably soaking in a puddle outside the window. With a sigh she glanced at me.

"Well, we better get some sleep for classes tomorrow," she said as she turned out my desk light. The room went black. I let it go and got under my covers. I put the CD under my pillow, wrapped my arms around my body tightly, and prayed that Amy wouldn't hear me crying. This was a huge mistake.

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**A/N: Thanks for reading. Things will start to pick up a bit in the next chapter. **


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter Three:**

I woke to the sound of Amy slamming the door as she left. Before opening my eyes, I felt underneath my pillow to make sure the small piece of my heart was still there. I could feel that my face was puffy when I opened my eyes. The daylight was already filling the room. No doubt I was already late for my first class. Staring up at the cracked ceiling I considered skipping it, but I felt I owed it to Charlie to go. He had been so proud of me for getting into college.

Absently, I showered in the communal bathroom and dressed in jeans and a hooded sweatshirt. I made a mental note to buy some sweatshirts from the school store; the cold was inescapable here. I dreaded the idea of the winter months in Alaska- all that snow. Drying my hair, I faced my back to the mirror. I was such a mess these days, I took pity on my own reflection.

It turned out that my brief grooming routine allowed me to get to class just in time. The professor was a disheveled older woman who was hunched over a mess papers, hurriedly attempting to sort through the disorganization. While the classroom was full of students, not one of them looked up at me, which I was perfectly content with. I took a seat in one of the few open chairs in the back.

The professor scrawled "Introduction to Western Art" in barely legible handwriting on the blackboard. Her hair was an odd maroon color and she wore pants that only made it to her ankles, showing her mismatched long socks.

"By the end of this course," she said grinning at no one in particular, "you will be able to critically evaluate art. You will be able to appreciate beauty in the finest details." Her excitement and passion was harshly offset by the lackluster tone of my classmates. It was obvious this course was a prerequisite; no here had a particular fondness for western art.

Looking around the small space, I didn't see Amy. I wondered if we would have any classes together. Everyone appeared to be composed and tolerable. I really drew the short straw with room placements.

Then my eyes were drawn back to a boy sitting in the desk directly next to me. He was drawing something on a sketch pad, disinterested in the students around him. He was wearing grey jeans and a thin knit black sweater that was striking against his pale skin. He had brown hair, similar to mine but darker. I could see the familiar shadows under his eyes… _Stop it, _I scolded myself. _He's just a normal tired, pale guy. You probably don't look much different right now. You're just seeing what you want to see. _

My arguments with myself still did not convince me. I had the huge urge to approach him. I wanted to touch him- just one touch and I would know for sure. I tried to get a glimpse at his eyes.

The professor, who had introduced herself as Bridget, was now taking role. I hoped that the boy would look up with the calling of his name.

"Miles Cassady," she called and he silently raised a hand in the air in acknowledgement, the charcoal from his pencil stained his fingertips. He hadn't looked up from his sketch and I grimaced out of frustration. I couldn't tear my eyes way from him.

"Is there an Isabella Swan in here?" Bridget asked. I got the feeling I had missed her calling me the first time.

"Uh, yes, here," I said while raising my hand, still not shifting my gaze from Miles.

Then he looked up at me. His expression shifted from annoyed to questioning in a matter of seconds. It was then I realized I had my body completely turned to him, gawking. My face went hot and I shifted abruptly and awkwardly to look down at my textbook. My breathing had become uneven. As embarrassed as I was, I got what I needed to know. His eyes were a beautiful shade of gold.

oOoOoOoOoOoOo

The art history class only met twice a week and so twice a week I felt the unfamiliar feeling of my heart quickening in my chest for about an hour and a half. I felt more awake than I had in a long time. It was a different feeling than when I was with Jake. Jacob thawed my heart and soothed the edges of my pain, while each encounter with Miles was like receiving a shot of adrenaline. I felt more alive, feeling the blood flow through my veins.

I knew it was dangerous for me to take such an interest in him, but the more I thought about it, the more I realized I wanted Miles to be a source of danger. It seemed like forever since I last experienced the hallucinations of _his_ voice. Approaching human strangers and riding motorcycles with Jake no longer elicited them. I already experienced a rush when I was in the proximity of Miles; maybe if I found a way to add some danger into the mix I would hear _him _again. It didn't get more dangerous than confronting an unknown vampire.

I knew this was crazy. Being numb and depressed was one thing, but insane Bella scared me a bit. Miles' eyes may suggest he is a good vampire, but if I told him I knew what he is? Who knows how he would react? He would have no reason to trust that I wouldn't expose him to others. He doesn't know me from Eve; there was no reason for him not to kill me.

On the other hand, what did it matter? I had already lost everything important to me. Maybe the chance was worth taking. This is the conclusion I came to one night when I was rereading the same line of my chemistry book for the hundredth time. I would come up with either the courage or the stupidity to talk to him, tell him what I know. Strangely, I felt excited.

The door to the dorm was open and I heard Amy stomping down the hallway towards our room. I knew it was her because she had the habit of wearing heals to class, something I didn't understand.

"Did you hear that crazy story on the news?" she asked when she entered. I shook my head.

"In the past week there have been three murders in Fairbanks. Real creepy shit, like with bloody bodies left in public places. But the police don't have any leads. Kind of freaks me out."

My mind instantly flashed an image of her red hair and wicked smile. A shiver went down my spine. _It's not her_, I told myself. _She has no idea where you are. _It was probably just some psychopath. Oddly, I wished this was true.

That night I couldn't sleep again. This was becoming a bad pattern.


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter Four: **

The next day I entered my art history class armed with a plan and boldness. Instead of sitting in my usual seat across from Miles, I sat down behind him.

Miles had not looked at me since the first day of class. Actually, he never looked at anyone. He spent every class sketching. I judged him to be well learned when I came to art. He managed to get praise from Bridget for answering questions correctly, yet I had never seen him with a textbook.

Today's class was perfect because we had an independent work day to discuss our essays with other students. I would worry about trivial things like papers and grades later. Almost all night I had lain in bed awake with anticipation for this day. There was something other than the slight chance for a hallucination that drove me to approach Miles. He was a connection to the world I believed I was destined to be a part of.

As I peered over his shoulder, I studied the drawing he was working on today. His hands moved swiftly across the page. He was drawing the classroom from his vantage point. I was in awe of the amazing detail. It was almost like looking at a black and white photograph. I noticed he had drawn the students sitting on either side of him with perfect clarity even though I never saw him turn his head. I blushed as I assumed he was aware that I had been staring at him through my peripheral vision for weeks. And I thought I was being sly.

I opened and closed my mouth several times, trying to find the words to speak. My hands were clammy.

"Your drawing is a- amazing," I stuttered.

Miles did not turn his head, but I was sure he knew who was addressing him. "Thanks," he stated curtly.

"Do you draw often?" As soon as the words were out of my mouth, I regretted them.

"Obviously."

Right, that was a silly question. Every time I saw him, he was drawing. I tried again. "What else do you like to draw?"

He continued sketching, now completing Bridget's tangled hair. The rest of his body kept its position like a statue.

"Is there a reason you're bothering me?" he asked.

This made me angry. It wasn't like meeting _him_ in the beginning, where he had been tense from fighting the urge to kill me every second. Even then, _he_ had been polite to me. This with Miles was something different. He was not so much bothered by the scent of my blood, but rather it was my personality he found irritating. I had not anticipated this problem. I needed to step the interrogation up a notch. He needed to take me seriously, understand what I knew.

I whispered my next question. I didn't bother to lean closer to him; I knew he would hear.

"Do you know the Denali coven?" I asked.

His hand stopped moving and I could tell he was no longer breathing. He twisted his torso around to look at me and I felt myself leaning backwards just a bit. His beautiful amber eyes bore into mine. He studied me questioningly. I assumed he was trying to figure out what I really was, but I knew he could hear my heartbeat. There was no question.

Miles took in a sharp breath as if he was about to say something. I could hear my pulse in my ears. But he shut his mouth and grinded his teeth. Turning his back to me, he gathered his things and walked, a little too quickly, out of the room.

Some people glanced my way, wondering what I said to him. Of course, I blushed. I shouldn't have been so upfront with him. I didn't know whether to be scared or mortified.

_Great,_ I told myself. _Now you have two vampires pissed at you. Good work, Bella. _

The sound of Bridget's voice startled me. She looked frightened, her hand partially covering her mouth.

"Excuse me, class?" she said. "I… just received and email from the dean. Apparently a… body was found on one of the walking trials around campus about a half hour ago." There was a barely audible gasp. "Police say it is a student and it looks like a brutal animal attack. The dean has called for all classes to be canceled today and tomorrow."

I knew what had killed that student and it was not an animal. She had found me and wanted me to know it. She wanted to scare me, make me wait for my impending death.

oOoOoOoOoOoOo

Later that night I sat in my room alone. I couldn't control my shaking no matter how hard I tried. I didn't know what to do. Then I remembered the promise I had made to Jake, that I would call him with any sign of trouble. I picked up my cell phone and dialed.

"Hello? Bella?" Jacob said. I nearly burst into tears with the sound of his voice. I needed my best friend so badly right now for many reasons. "Is something wrong?" he added.

"Hey Jake. Er, no, nothing's… wrong," I said. "I was just wondering how things were back home. Are you and Charlie doing okay?"

"Yeah, Bells. I'm fine and Charlie is safe. There still haven't been any signs of Victoria around here. Maybe you were right and she did give up."

"Yes, maybe," I replied. I sighed with relief that they were safe. I knew if I told Jacob that I thought Victoria was here he would come alone to protect me. I couldn't let that happen. The whole point of me coming here was to keep the people I cared about safe.

"Are you sure you're alright, Bella?" he asked sounding concerned.

"I'm fine, Jake. School is just a little lonely. Do you mind if I call you back later?"

"Sure, sure. Please do. I miss you, Bella."

"I miss you too, Jake," I said with my voice cracking. As soon as I hung up, Amy came into the room. I was almost glad that she would be with me tonight. I didn't want to be alone.

"Good news!" she said as she grabbed her suitcases and started packing her things. "I finally convinced my friends to open up their couch for me, so I'm going to be moving in with them. Looks like you get your own room!"

It took her only minutes to pack, tossing her belongings into her bags in a haphazard manner. Before she left, she looked at me for the first time since she got there.

"Aw, don't worry, Isabella," she said. I'll only be one building over. We can still be friends… if you want."

I was confused by this for a moment until I realized she must have misread my face of terror as disappointment that she was moving out. "Sure," I said flatly.

She gave a half-smile and left. I heard her heals stomp all the way down the hall.


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter Five:**

I curled up in my bed, trembling. I tried my best to fall asleep. Maybe Victoria would kill me quickly. I didn't think she would have the restraint to draw the process out. I felt completely helpless. I wanted nothing more than to run back home to the safety of the pack, but I knew she would follow me. She could hurt Charlie.

A sharp rapping on my door caused me to let out a scream. I didn't think it was Amy; I couldn't have missed the sound of her heals. I got up slowly and crept over to the door. The shaking in my extremities was now uncontrollable. I held my breath as I opened the door.

Unexpectedly, Miles stood before me. I thought I was about to faint so I went to my bed and sat down. He followed me in and locked the door behind him. His posture was stiff with clenched fists that made his knuckles white, and his brows furrowed. I thought I could even hear him growling but it was difficult to make out over the chattering of my teeth.

"I know you have something to do with the vampire who has been killing humans in the area," he said in a low voice. "You two best move along. This is the only warning I will give."

I could do nothing but stare wide-eyed. He thought I was Victoria's partner? What an insane idea.

"What are you some sort of puppet for her? How sick!" he exclaimed.

I finally came to my senses and was able to think again. "No!" I retorted. "I'm not…" I didn't know how to explain myself. "Victoria is after me not with me."

"Victoria?" he asked. "How do you know her then? And why would she be after you? Did you pull the same stunt on her that you did with me this morning?" he laughed darkly.

I struggled to think of a way to explain myself without giving details of the family I still felt bound to protect. "I had a vampire friend once who killed her mate and now she wants to kill me," I said. I prayed he would believe my vague story and not demand details.

Miles looked like he was thinking hard about something. "I've never heard of a vampire befriending a human," he said, his anger fading. "He must not have been much of a friend to leave you I so much danger, huh?"

I flinched at that comment. He took off his coat, resting it on Amy's bed and walked over to my desk to sit down.

"What are you doing?" I asked, as he randomly picked up one of my novels and began reading.

"Well, I'm assuming that you have looked like hell since classes started because of your lack of sleep. Plus, you look like you could go into shock at any moment. I'm not going to leave you here to fret all night over some vengeful vampire chick."

I watched Miles in the dim light of my desk lamp. He wasn't much bigger than me, but I could see the outline of his tone body through his grey sweater. I knew he packed a lot of strength in his slim frame. He had his sleeves pushed up to expose his forearms and I could see smudges of paint on his pale skin. His face was perfectly proportioned with deep set eyes and almost girlish cheek bones. He glanced up at me.

"You're not going to ask me about all of this?" I asked him. I thought it was strange he did not have questions about my unusual circumstances. I was nervous about what he was thinking about.

"Nope," he stated. "I don't really care to know. Don't expect me to do this again. After tonight, you're on your own." He stretched his legs out in front of him and crossed his ankles, leaning back into the chair and pulling the book up to cover his face.

"Aren't you worried I will tell your secret?"

"Do I need to be worried?" he asked, his eyes locked with mine. I shook my head sharply.

"Then, nope," he answered still focusing on me. I thought I could see him smile for a second but it disappeared quickly. "How about you just go to sleep? I'm not one for conversation." He turned out the light, but I could see that he was looking back down at the book.

I put my head down on the pillow and closed my eyes, but I didn't sleep. I was too hyped up from the day's events. If Miles noticed that I never slept, he didn't say anything. He stayed with me all night. While I was incredibly grateful for his protection, I wondered why he had given me this favor; especially since he acted as if I was a burden. His words contradicted his actions. He had taken note of my zombie-like appearance in class and served as my guardian tonight. The harsh tone he used with me didn't make sense.

I had decided he was not a danger to me, though. I came to this conclusion based on the fact that I did not experience any hallucinations last night. If _he_, in my subconscious, did not see Miles as a threat, why should I? But I knew this was not an exact science. I figured that further proof he was good was that he was against Victoria and lacked her crimson eyes. Plus, there was something about him that I could not place my finger on. I couldn't accept the idea that he would harm me.

When morning came, I heard him leave quietly without saying a word. I rolled over and saw the clear dawn sky through my window; it would be a sunny day. I felt safer knowing Victoria would not be able to expose herself in the sunlight, but I also knew I would not see Miles either. My life had become much too complicated.


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter Six: **

My dreams during sleep were frightening. I was always searching for him; endlessly searching even though there was nothing, no one, to be found. My subconscious mind tormented me as I slept. But my daydreams were under my control. I thought of his voice, the feel of his marble skin, his sweet scent. I imagined us laughing together in the meadow or holding each other in my bed. I pictured myself as strong and beautiful as he was, as a vampire. I pretended he still loved me and wanted to be with me forever.

I thought of these things this morning in my economics class. The professor had a perfect voice for daydreaming, soft and monotone. My eyelids felt heavy from my lack of sleep the night before. It was almost painful trying to keep my head up. I rested my forehead on my arm. A nap would do me some good. It wasn't as if I was able to pay attention today anyway.

I couldn't have been out longer than a few minutes when I was woken by the clattering of a calculator someone had dropped. I grumbled under my breath and sat up.

When I looked down at my open textbook I saw there was a piece of folded paper tucked into the center crease. I subtly glanced around wondering if someone nearby had placed it there, but they all looked only slightly more awake than I was moments ago. I picked up the paper and unfolded it. The writing was in a script so perfect that it almost appeared to be typed.

_Bella,_ it read. _Leave your window open tonight._ It was signed Miles.

Many questions arose from this ambiguous message. First, I wondered how he left it in the first place. I was only asleep for a minute, surely I would have noticed if he interrupted the class. More importantly, I wondered what his message meant for me. He could have changed his mind and decided he wanted to watch over me again. This was possible but unlikely since he already told me that there would not be a repeat of last night. Maybe he would come to tell me to leave campus, lead Victoria away from here.

After class I went to my dorm. I released the locks in the window before collapsing on my bed. I thought about what I should do about my situation with Victoria. She had sought after me in Forks for weeks but was driven away by the wolves and she had not been back since. I figured she had not gotten to me yet here in Alaska because I was constantly surrounded by witnesses. No matter how much she wanted me dead, Victoria would not want to risk punishment by the Volturi. This would explain the killing that took place yesterday. The student had been a good distance from the school buildings. Her massage was loud and clear. The next time I was truly alone, would be when she would make her move.

The afternoon sun fell on my back as I laid in bed thinking. I heard students outside my building enjoying the nice weather. I took comfort in knowing the sun and many witnesses would keep her away for now. It would be enough to keep me calm until Miles came. I drifted into sleep.

When I opened my eyes, the room was dark. My clock radio said it was ten. I couldn't believe how long I had slept.

"Hey there, girly."

I jumped up in bed and turned to the dark corner his voice had come from, my eyes struggling to adjust. My heart rate had doubled.

"Don't have a heart attack on me," he said.

I reached over to my desk and turned on the lamp. Miles sat cross legged on Amy's old bed grinning at me. He had his sketch pad in his lap.

"I thought you said you wouldn't come back here," I said even though I couldn't have been happier to see him.

"I was having an unusual day," he said. "Cut me some slack."

I continued to glare at him. He wasn't getting off the hook that easily.

He laughed. "Look," he said. "I'm sorry for how I acted. I am not used to people talking to me. Humans keep their distance from me and I usually prefer it that way. But you, Bella, you're something else. I'm curious about you."

I couldn't believe he wanted to talk to me. I had so many questions I wanted to ask. "How do you know the family in Denali?" I asked eagerly.

"No, no," he said. "You spill first. I need to hear what you know before I give anything else about myself away."

How frustrating. I didn't want to give certain things away either. Some secrets were not mine to share, as Jacob had said once. Could I trust him? "What did you want to know?" I asked.

"How did you know what I was?"

This was an easy question. "Your eyes," I answered. "The family I used to be close to... they had the same color eyes as you. Just like those in Denali. You only drink the blood of animals."

"You're observant," he said. "Who are these other vampires? The ones you used to know."

I ran my hand through my hair, contemplating what I should tell him. "Carlisle Cullen's family," I admitted. The name got caught in my throat.

"Tanya has mentioned the Cullens to me," he said. Miles' mouth formed a straight line. He seemed bothered by something.

"What's wrong?" I asked.

"I know one of the males in the coven," he said. My breathing quickened. "I fought Jasper Whitlock in the newborn wars many decades ago."

I looked at him in shock. He had fought my former family. I pictured all of those crescent-shaped scars crawling up Jasper's arms; Miles did that to him. He wasn't safe at all! I was shaking again, this time out of anger. He got up and approached me. But like a coward, I slid back into the corner. He stopped at the edge of my bed, looking hurt.

"Bella, I didn't want to hurt him," he said earnestly. "I was forced to fight." He sighed. "I was turned by a man named Samuel. He was a leader of a newborn army he had single-handedly created in Texas. We were a weak group. I only followed Samuel's orders out of fear and confusion from being newly changed. He kept saying that we had kill someone named Jasper Whitlock because he supposedly had some ability to control the minds of his enemy."

He was making Jasper out to be a sadistic manipulator. I had to interrupt. "That's not true," I said bitterly. "Jasper is extraordinarily compassionate. He is able to sense people's emotions and subtly calm them down."

Miles nodded. "It doesn't surprise me that Samuel would lie to us," he said. "When we came across Jasper and Maria's army, I knew it was a lost cause. We were severely outnumbered. I was able to get close Jasper though. I bit him. I wasn't the person I am now. I was insane with thirst. Our army was so weak; I had never even tasted blood yet. After I bit him, Jasper threw me far from where we were fighting. I didn't want to go back to Samuel, so I ran."

"You left the war to live on your own?" I asked.

He was looking down at the floor now, wringing his hands. "I guess you could say it's a bad habit of mine," he laughed humorlessly. "I ran from the civil war as well. You know what's more pathetic than that? I didn't dodge the war because I was afraid of dying, but because I couldn't stand the thought of banding together with others. I had always wanted to be on my own.

"After my confrontation with Jasper I ran as far north as I could. I never stopped. I stayed as far away from people as possible because I didn't want to have death on my hands. If I was already damned as a vampire, I wasn't about to become a killer as well.

So, I made it all the way to Denali. I was very weak from thirst when I came across Tanya, Kate and Irina when they were hunting. I had never considered hunting animals. Meeting them completely changed my way of thinking. I realized that I didn't have to be a monster. They were incredibly kind to me. Tanya wanted me to stay with them."

"Why didn't you?" I asked.

"I have never been what you would call a people person, never had an interest in family. Having never tasted human blood before, it didn't take me too long before I could control my thirst to the point I could be around humans. I've been taking college courses and practicing my art ever since. I enjoy being sort of a nomad."

He looked up at me, studying my expression. "Still mad at me?" he asked.

I allowed him a smile. "I suppose not," I admitted.

His nervous posture relaxed a bit and he sat down on the edge of my bed.

"What happened between you and the Cullens?" he asked. "If they were willing to risk everything for you, why would they leave?"

I had never been asked this directly before, not even with Jake. It hurt and my eyes began to fill with tears. "I messed things up," I said. "He didn't want me anymore." The tears were spilling over now. It was so much harder saying it out loud.

Miles moved closer to me and gave me a gentle hug. It was strange to feel his cold arms around me. My first instinct was to shy away from him but it felt nice. I had missed this feeling.

"I'm sorry that happened to you, Bella," he said, letting go of me. "It's late. Get some more sleep. I'll make sure you're safe."

"Thank you," I said.

He sat with his back against the wall next to where I laid down. I grabbed his arm and held it close, resting my cheek against him. The coolness calmed me. I imagined it belonged to _him_ and feel into a deep and peaceful sleep.


	7. Chapter 7

**Chapter Seven: **

When I woke the next morning, I felt refreshed. I had more energy than I had in a long time. Even more than that, I could not recall having any nightmares. Perhaps with Miles' presence, I was able to trick my unconscious mind into thinking I had never really lost anything.

I took a hot shower, attempting to thaw myself after sleeping next to Mile's cold body. I was surprised at my mood. I thought Mile's would bring back memories of _him_ that were so potent I would break, but I almost felt happy. I liked being able to share with Miles some of the burden I had been carrying. I liked having a friend, a confidant. It made it easier to be away from home and Jacob.

When I finished showering I walked over to the row of sinks to brush my teeth and hair, careful to keep my back to the mirrors as I usually did. I wondered if feeling rejuvenated on the inside would be reflected in my outward physical appearance. I recalled the zombie-like appearance I saw the last time I dared to face my reflection and shuddered. I pulled the brush through my hair one last time and slowly pivoted to face the glass.

I was still very pale having not seen the sun in ages, but there was a rosy pink tinge that coated my lips and cheeks. The whites of my eyes were brighter and the shadows underneath were less severe. It was a subtle but noticeable difference. I looked as though I had joined the living again. I decided to take it a step further and blow-dried my hair until it was smooth and shiny again. Then, I grabbed my books and coat and left for class. Art history didn't seem so terrible all of a sudden.

As I walked into the classroom, Bridget was busy scribbling Byzantine art terms on the board, breaking her chalk often. I walked down the narrow isle to take my seat behind Miles again. He was busy looking at his sketches like usual, but as I walked by him, I watched him smile.

"Hey, girly," he said as I sat down. He turned around to face me and gave me a smile which showed off his gleaming teeth. "You look lovely today," he added. He reached out to me, touching the end of my hair between his fingers.

"Thanks," I said as I looked down trying to hide my blush. The professor was trying to get the attention of the class.

"Will you let me join you for lunch after class today?" Miles asked.

I typically skipped major mealtime, eating only when I felt I had to. Company would be nice. "Sure," I replied.

"Great," he said. "Meet me at the quad then. I want to show you something."

I tried to focus on Bridget's lecture to keep me from obsessing over the ticking clock on the wall above her head. Slowly but surely the minutes ticked by and class was finally over. Miles left quickly before me, giving me a smile as he walked out the door. I wondered what he was doing.

The quad was a large outdoor gathering place in the center of campus. There was a large stone outdoor fireplace used for special events. I took a seat at one of the wrought iron tables and pulled out a smashed peanut butter sandwich that I had been toting around for a few days. Seconds after I sat, Miles pulled out the chair next to me. He had brought with him a large leather folder of some sort.

"What's that?" I asked

"These are some of my paintings," he explained. "I work on sketches during the day and I like to paint on nights I don't hunt."

He loosened the ties and opened the portfolio and pushed it over towards me. He had dozens of paintings; all of them absolutely beautiful. He had paintings of landscapes, people, of the college, and many of scenes that looked like they could only be found in a dream. I recognized the painting of our art class. He captured Bridget's bewildered expression so perfectly it made me laugh.

When I flipped to the next piece I was caught off guard. It was a picture of me. I was sleeping in my bed with my hair falling around my face. Moonlight seemed to be hitting my skin, making it even more translucent than normal. I looked almost beautiful. I was flattered that he saw me in such a way.

"I, uh, hope you don't mind," Miles said with chagrin in his voice.

"Oh, Miles, I'm sorry," I said trying to make up for my pause. "It's beautiful, really. I love it." I continued flipping, taking in every inch of his art. "You could sell this," I said in awe.

"It's said that an artist's work only because truly valuable when he is dead," he said. "That's a bit difficult for me." I laughed.

"Why did you start painting?" I asked.

"I have been painting since I was a kid," he said. "My family owned a store in Louisiana so I always had access to supplies to work with. My father died of illness when I was nine. We didn't have any pictures of him, so I painted him from memory. I didn't want to forget him." He looked pained as he thought of this.

"I'm sorry," I said.

"When my mom remarried a year later, it became more difficult," he continued. "My stepfather did not think art was something a man did. Then my mother became ill a few years later and she passed away when I was seventeen. I wanted to leave then but I had to take care of my parents' business. I felt like I owed it to them. But living with my stepfather was unbearable. He was angry and I sort of served as his punching bag. As you can see," he gestured to himself, "I was never the biggest guy, and my stepfather was much stronger than me. He hated that I painted and that I was a loner. This went on for almost a year.

"Then it came time for me to join the civil war. Most people in my town already had joined the fight and of course I had no interest in it. My stepfather was strongly supportive of the effort so this caused an unusually bad conflict with him. That's when I'd had enough."

"What did you do?" I asked.

"I left home. My town was right next to the Texas border, so I ran west, left the state. I resented myself for not being able to stand up to my stepfather, for not being brave enough to fight in the war, for being weak. I ran to rural Texas to get away from all people. I never wanted to see another human. The only ones I ever loved died right before my eyes and there was nothing I could do about it. I felt completely helpless and purposeless. I hurt so bad I couldn't stand it another second. I decided to take my own life."

I winced. "Miles," I said, shocked, "I don't understand. Then how are you…?"

"I wasn't really sure how to do it," he continued. "All I had was a hunting knife. I stabbed myself with it, in the abdomen, figuring I will bleed out and drift to unconsciousness. It was the best way I could think of. It didn't hurt much more than what my stepfather did to me, and I knew it would end. It was almost peaceful.

"What I had not anticipated was Samuel. He was in the area searching for humans to turn into newborn vampires. It wasn't difficult for him to find me; he smelled the blood. That's when he turned me, right as I was dying. It was 1863 and I was eighteen years old. The pain was so excruciating I thought I was in hell." He stared off at nothing in particular. I placed my hand on his.

"Would you know what I meant if I said I'm glad Samuel found you?" I asked.

He gave me a warm smile and placed his other hand on top of mine. "Yes," he said. "Thank you. I've never told that to anyone before. Sorry for bringing such a damper down on our lunch"

"I'm glad you told me," I said honestly.

I contemplated Mile's story. It was hard for me to imagine him feeling powerless looking at him now and knowing what he was capable of. "Do you enjoy the speed and strength that comes with being a vampire since it's what you wanted as a human?" I asked him as I picked at the edges of my sandwich.

"It's alright," he said. "But, I'm no competition for other vampires. I'm still not a good fighter. Even my 'special ability' is practically useless," he said using air-quotes.

"What can you do?" I asked with my eyes wide.

"It's really not impressive," he said. "I think it is bad karma for trying to end my time on Earth. You see… I can, in a limited way, manipulate time."

"Wow," I said intrigued. "What do you mean? Like time travel?"

He laughed loudly at that. "No, nothing like that," he explained. I cannot speed up time, only slow it down or stop it. And it only works for a short while. At first I could only work with seconds, now I can manage to hold it for a couple minutes. But it's not really stopping time. If I used my ability right now, your heart would continue to beat, you would still breathe, and the world would continue to spin about the sun. It's only your perception of time in your mind that would stop. That's how I left the note on your desk yesterday without disrupting class."

I was amazed. "Can you show me?" I asked.

"Well, no."

I frowned at him. "You tell me all of your darkest secrets and you refuse to do this? Why not?"

He rolled his eyes. "Bella, stop being dramatic. Think about it. If I stopped time right now you would be affected too. My ability is not selective. For all you know I could be starting and stopping time over and over again right now."

Well that's disappointing. I sighed. "Can you try it anyway?" I pleaded. I want to see if I feel anything when it happens."

"Alright, alright," he said. "But don't get annoyed with me when you don't notice anything." He let go of my hand and focused his attention past me, into the distance. It fell completely silent around us. The birds were no longer singing and I did not hear the banter of students, only the rustle of the wind through the trees. Was I supposed to be able to see and hear? My gaze was transfixed on some students sitting at a table a bit further down. They were frozen, like statues. It was a group f three girls, each of them completely still. They looked like they were in the middle of laughing.

"This is crazy," I whispered. Miles shook his head and looked at me in shock. Things went back to normal then. I heard the three girls laughing. Miles was staring at me speechless.

"Can they all hear and see when you do that?" I asked him.

"N-no," he stammered. "Hold on. Let me try it again." He refocused and unleashed his power once more. Sure enough, life stood still around us. There was a boy in mid-stride. He was in the process of dropping his book as it was floating in the air in front of him, his hands out trying to catch it. Miles watched me with his jaw practically on the table as I got up and approached the boy. I grabbed his book with both hands, not sure what to expect. I gently pushed it back towards the boy and placed it in his grasp. Then, I walked back to my seat next to Miles. He blinked once more, still staring at me as time continued again. The boy smiled to himself as he held his book and continued walking across the quad. He looked pleased at his quick reflexes.

I shifted my gaze back to Miles. "That was amazing," I said.

He shook his head, running his hand through his hair. "You're extraordinary, Bella," he said. "I have never met someone, not animal, human, nor vampire who was immune to my ability."

This sounded familiar. I took a deep breath. "Well, it's not just you I am immune to," I explained. "Carlisle's son, the one… who left. He could read minds, all minds except mine."

"That's interesting," he said, lost in thought.

"Do you ever think there might me another reason why you have this ability?" I asked.

"Like what?"

"Maybe it's not a punishment for attempting suicide. Maybe it has to do with your art." He gave me a questioning expression. "I mean, you capture these beautiful moments in time through painting, perhaps this is an extension of your talent."

His golden eyes softened and he grasped my hand again. "You are very special," he said softly. "Now let me walk you inside to your next class; your hands are as cold as mine."

It was then I realized I was freezing. The clouds were heavy overhead and the wind had picked up and rustled though my hair. "Okay," I agreed. However, I continued to hold his icy hand the whole way.

* * *

**A/N: Well, what do you think so far?**


	8. Chapter 8

**Chapter Eight: **

Miles continued to stay with me every night. There had not been any signs of Victoria since her last kill. Miles said he had not caught her scent either. He thought she may have moved out further from campus to hunt where she would be less conspicuous. I was thankful for the breathing room for the time being.

I didn't mention my lack of a roommate to Charlie when we talked on the phone. As for Miles, I decided to wait a while to tell my dad about him. It was difficult to describe what it was I had with Miles. We had become friends but it was a stronger connection than that. We shared something that no other human could understand.

I liked that there was no pressure from Miles to be more than friends. I did not bear the same guilt as I did with Jake for being unable to reciprocate the strong feelings he had for me. Miles understood what it was like to treasure personal space. While we enjoyed each other's company, deep down we wanted to be on our own. I was not positive of what he saw in me, but he was the one small link I had to the Cullens and I wasn't about to break it. I knew in the long run it could hurt me, once I came to terms with the fact that while Miles was similar, he could never fill the shoes of the person I loved. I simply tried to enjoy the happiness I felt, even if it was temporary.

I laid next to Miles wrapped like a burrito in my blanket to keep warm. At first it felt awkward, having him this close but I craved the familiarity of it. After a few weeks of him staying with me, it just felt like routine. He laid close next to me with his arm around my waist. It was amazing how even his smell brought back memories. I inhaled deeply.

I had to admit, I thought about what it would be like to kiss him. Miles certainly had never given me the impression that he would ever try, but something told me that maybe he wouldn't turn me away. It would be easy. I often slept with my head resting on his chest. I could lift my face to his; feel his cold mouth against mine. I imagined him locking his hands in my hair and pulling me closer to him, deepening the kiss. I knew his marble lips would be smooth and soothing. He could erase my mind of painful thoughts; even if only for a moment. I could possibly feel whole again.

I dismissed my asinine thoughts and opened my eyes to stare into the darkness of my room in order to clear my head. I could feel Miles' chest rise and fall against my back. I could never hurt him like that. He would know it wasn't him I pined to kiss. I already felt guilty for using him as much as I did. Besides, if it did remind me of being with _him_, it could be enough to break me all over again. And if kissing Miles felt completely new, well, I wasn't sure if I was willing to go that route either.

"Can I ask you something personal?" Miles asked cautiously. I could feel his cool breath through my hair. His voice sounded different but I couldn't identify what made it so.

"Of course," I said. I had shared more with Miles than I had with anyone in a long time. I felt I could tell him anything.

"You and this Cullen guy," he started, "did you two have a… physical relationship?"

I was glad I was turned away from him because I could feel my face turning a shade of red. "That's none of your business," I said.

"You're right, it's not," he said absently. "I was just curious if such a thing were possible." He paused for a moment. "Did he kiss you?"

The question was a punch in my stomach. I recalled the kisses we shared. The cool of his lips mine and the feel of his fingertips as he cupped my face between his hands. I tucked my knees up to my chest and attempted to control my breathing.

"I don't want to talk about him," I said curtly.

Miles gave a long sigh and rubbed my arm. "I know," he said. You never want to." Miles lightly pulled back on my shoulder. I rolled over onto my back to face him. His eyes were gentle.

"Have you ever talked to anyone about him? About Edward?"

This wasn't happening. I did not allow this to happen. I didn't think his name and I certainly did speak of him out loud. Why didn't Miles understand it was unbearable as it were? "No," I said. "It hurts too much to think about him."

"Maybe it would help to talk about it," he suggested.

I sat up with the blanket still wrapped tightly around me and did not say anything for a long time. I thought about how Miles would be the perfect person to explain everything to. He would not think I was crazy like Charlie or Angela. He didn't have an instinctual hatred for the Cullens like Jacob did. Also, I had to keep myself together around Jacob because I was afraid I would lose his friendship, but Miles knew what it was like to be completely broken.

So I told him. I told him everything. I described my first day at Forks High School, meeting my human friends. I talked about Carlisle, Esme, Rosalie, Emmett, Jasper, and Alice. I went into great detail when describing Edward, his hair, smile, and kindness. Miles stiffened a bit as I told him about James and going to Phoenix. I explained what I knew of Victoria. I told him what happened at my last birthday and I broke down as I said out loud what had happened when Edward left. Miles rubbed my back as I explained how Jacob had helped put me back together. I skipped the part about my hallucinations, but he laughed when I told him that I rode a motorcycle. I explained that Jacob was a werewolf and had saved me from Laurent. I told him why I decided to go to college in Alaska.

It took hours, but Miles listened to every word without interjecting. I was surprised at how often I was able to smile as I remembered the intense happiness I once had. Perhaps I had focused too closely on the memories which had caused me pain. I still missed them all immensely, but a weight had been lifted sharing my secrets with Miles. I took in a deep breath.

"Are you alright?" Miles asked. He placed his hand on my shoulder.

"I think one day I will be," I said. I felt a huge sense of accomplishment. With my newfound courage I reached for my desk drawer and pulled out the CD. "He made this for me, for my birthday," I told Miles as I toyed with it in my hands. "I have not been able to listen to it since that night."

"I'd love to hear it," he said.

When I opened the case I was surprised to find a note inside. It had not been there before.

_Bella_, it read, in a handwriting I recognized instantly. _I had to do what was_ _best for you. I am deeply sorry. I love you. –Edward_

"Oh my God, Miles," I said. He looked puzzled by my strange reaction and took the note from my shaking hands. "He lied. He- he lied to protect me. He still loves me! Oh my God, I'm going to kill him!" I didn't know whether to be ecstatic or furious. My breathing was erratic and my heart pounding. I jumped up and paced the room.

"We have to find him, Bella," Miles said. "You have to tell him you are nowhere near better off despite his insane plan."

With the initial anger resolving, I felt incredibly giddy and excited. Everything finally made sense. I knew how convincing Edward could be, and I could not believe I fell for it myself. It just seemed so plausible at the time, that he would not want to be inconvenienced by a dull human like myself. I recalled what he had said to me in the hospital in Phoenix when I begged him to stay with me always. _"As long as it's what's best for you," _he had said.

"But what about Victoria?" I asked Miles. "If I leave, she will follow me. I will lead her right to Edward."

Miles bit down on his lower lip. "Bella, I may act brave against the vampire chick when I'm surrounded by thousands of human witnesses, but I would not stand a chance against her by myself. I will need Edward's help."

I did not like the sound of this but I knew I did not have much of a choice. I could not stay on this campus forever and I had to find Edward, _now._

"Alright," I said. "I'll figure it out later. We can't waste anymore time."

"Do you have any idea where he may be?" Miles asked. My energy waned as I realized I had no idea where he could have gone to. I sat down on my bed, rubbing my temples.

"No," I said finally. "But maybe there's someone who might be able to tell us something."

Miles looked at me questioningly. "Who?" he asked.

"We're going to Denali."


	9. Chapter 9

**Chapter Nine**

Miles tried to convince me to sleep until the next day for us to make the trip north, but I couldn't have slept if I wanted to. I didn't want to. My life finally had a purpose again; there was something to work for. Edward was out in the world and he still loved me. There was a chance we could be together again and I had the ability to make that happen. There was a shot at being whole again. There was no time for sleep.

I showered and put on some extra layers of clothing. I could only imagine how cold it would be even further north. I sat down at my desk and searched the Internet for a mode of transportation. Apparently, Denali was about a four hour train ride from the college but even this seemed too slow for me.

"That's probably our best option," Miles said leaning over my shoulder. "I'll buy us some tickets in the morning."

"No, wait," I said. "What if… Will you run with me?"

He seemed surprised by the request. "Uh, alright," he said. "I've never taken on a passenger before."

"I trust you," I assured.

The campus was silent outside. The clouds were moving quickly overhead causing the moonlight to dim and brighten intermittently. I could see my breath as I put my hood up and wrapped my arms around my chest for warmth. We walked at my pace until we reached the edge of the forest. There were temporary paper signs posted on some of the trees, warning students to stay out of the woods. They obviously had yet to catch the offending animal for which they searched. My eyes darted tree to tree, half-expecting Victoria to appear. Of course I knew it was pointless; Victoria could move faster than my sight would allow.

Once we walked a safe distance into the brush, Miles stopped. He was handsome in the night. The light from the moon illuminated his skin and the golden flecks in his eyes.

"Ready?" he asked. He bent his knees slightly.

I walked behind him and he slowly swung me onto his back. It felt a bit awkward considering he was not much bigger than me but I felt secure in his grasp. I wrapped my arms tightly around his neck. Without hesitation he was running.

This was a hundred times, no, a thousand times better than the motorcycles. It was the most freeing feeling, like flying. The wind was sharp against my face. Miles was nearly silent as he flew through the trees. I listened to his even breathing.

It took quite a bit longer than it had going to the meadow in Forks. I could no longer feel my fingers and toes. It didn't help being straddled across Miles's cold back. I tucked my face into Mile's neck trying to shield me from the wintery breeze. I assumed he could feel my shivering, for he stopped to help me down. My muscles felt stiff and frozen. He removed his coat and gave it to me to wear as yet another layer before we carried on.

After a long time of nothingness, I saw a large home set on the side of a mountain. Snow began to fall as we arrived. Miles let me down several yards away from the house but we did not have to take but a few steps before Tanya, Kate and Irina came out to meet us. Tanya's face brightened instantly when she saw Miles but the other two females looked at me suspiciously.

"Miles!" Tanya called. "How wonderful for you to visit us again. It's been so long." Then she finally noticed me. Her tone made a notable change. "And who is this you brought with you?"

"This is, Bella," Miles said. "She's a friend of the Cullens. Tanya we need your help with something."

Tanya looked to the others, their expressions unchanged and back to me and Miles. "Yes, of course," she said cautiously. "Please come inside."

Miles hugged Kate and Irina before leading us into the log home. It was stunningly elegant on the inside. The best part about it was the large fireplace in the living area, so blissfully warm. I ambled over to it and thawed my frozen extremities.

"You two look as if you have come a long way," Kate said eyeing my blue fingers. "It must be urgent."

"I need to find Edward," I said, "and I was hoping we may have visited here… maybe told you were he was going."

"Edward unfortunately has not been here in several years," Tanya said. Mile's face fell as my own did I'm sure. "But Carlisle visited recently. He told us about what happened."

My heart sped up a bit again with hope. "Tanya, did Carlisle say where Edward was?"

"He said Edward was trying to track a Victoria," Tanya explained. I inhaled abruptly. This was why Victoria's presence was so sporadic. She had been evading Edward.

"Edward has been chasing her through Canada for months now without success," she continued. "I assume that's where is now. I think he is foolish for trying to fight her alone, but he insists on it."

I sat down on the plush sofa. "I have to find Edward and convince him to come back to Forks before Victoria finds him first," I said. I had been trying my best to keep my loved ones safe from Victoria, I had no idea it was Edward I had to be most concerned about. He was chasing danger all over Canada.

"Do you have any idea where specifically I could find him?" I asked.

"No, I'm sorry, Bella," Tanya said sympathetically. "I wouldn't have a clue."

I chewed at my nails, attempting to figure something out. I could never give up on him. I buttoned my coat back up and started heading for the door. "I need to find him," I said.

Miles gripped my hood forcing me to stop. "Be reasonable, Bella," he said. "You nearly froze to death with me carrying you here. How do you expect to survive being toted all the way to Canada?" He was right; I would never be able to stand the cold that long.

I covered my face with my hands. "I feel so petty and useless," I said. "But I can't just do nothing!"

Tanya approached me and put her arm loosely around my shoulders. "Maybe the Cullens will visit again soon," she suggested, trying to comfort me. "Then we can ask them to contact Edward, give you a chance to explain." For someone who had never met me, she was very kind. I could see why the Cullens considered them as family.

"Who knows how long that could be?" I mumbled into my hands.

Miles stepped up to me now and paced both of his hands on my arms. "Bella, listen," he said. "I understand that you want to find Edward as soon as possible, but hear me out. First of all, you need some food in you and some sleep before you pass out. Secondly, I have an endless amount of time on my hands. You're not alone in all of this. I will help you find him. How about we catch a plane to Canada though, so you don't become a human popsicle?"

I suddenly became very aware of the fact that I had not eaten in a long time and I felt a little woozy. I simply nodded in defeat. Once again my being human would prove to be a major burden.

Tanya showed much enthusiasm over letting me stay the night even if Irina and Kate were still leery about the presence of a human who knew their secret. I considered asking Miles to just take me back to my dorm but the thought of facing the cold night again made me keep my mouth shut and accept the hospitality. Thankfully Tanya kept some food in the house for the occasional hiker who stopped for warmth. She warmed me up some soup and sat at the grand dining room table with me as Miles left to hunt.

"How did you manage to meet Miles?" she asked me.

"We go to the same collage," I said. "I noticed he was a little different than the other students, I guess you could say."

She laughed. "Yes, I suppose you would have a keen eye for those like us."

"I hope things work out with you and Edward" she continued. "He deserves someone like you. You're very brave. You know, when you first entered his life he ran from Forks, came here to talk to be about it. He was terrified of you!" she grinned.

"Terrified of me?"

"Yes, he thought you would be the one to break him, destroy all of the years of avoiding human blood. But he developed such a love for you, Bella. A love so strong he chose to endure the suffering the scent of your blood causes him. It amazes me. I envy that kind of love very much."

"Thank you for being so kind to me, Tanya," I said. The soup had warmed my body and I felt I could barely hold my head up I was so exhausted.

"You're practically family to us. It's my pleasure. But can you manage a favor in return?"

"Anything," I slurred slightly as I yawned.

"After you get Edward to come to his senses, can you convince Miles to visit us more often? I realized after seeing him tonight that I missed him quite a bit."

"Sure thing," I said as I laid my head on my arm and allowed my heavy eyelids to close.

The last thing I remember was Tanya's thin arms carrying me up stairs and placing me to bed. I dreamt of flying with Miles.


	10. Chapter 10

**Chapter Ten: **

I was caught somewhere in between dreaming and consciousness, as I felt Miles' hand lightly rubbing my back to wake me. I was so warm and comfortable, I didn't want to move. Suddenly the memories of everything that had happened the night before broke me from my reverie and I sat up. Miles gave me a gentle smile. Warm, golden light streamed in from the windows. I looked to the clock beside the bed and it read 2:03 pm.

"Miles! Why didn't you wake me?" I fumed. I couldn't believe he allowed another day to slip by.

"Bella, calm down," he said. "You need the rest. Plus, the sky has been clear all morning, so we couldn't have traveled near humans even if we wanted to. I found us a flight to Vancouver… it leaves in a few hours." He was looking away from me now. I felt bad for snapping at him.

"That's perfect, Miles." I crawled over to him and wrapped my arms around him. I felt his frame relax and embrace me in return. When I pulled back, he was smiling again.

"It's a little warmer now than last night," he said. "Do you think you are ready to run back to town? We can stop by your dorm so you can grab some warmer clothes."

"Thank you," I told him and hugged him tightly once more. "Let's go say goodbye to everyone."

oOoOoOoOoOoOo

Once we made it back to my dorm, I grabbed my backpack and looked about my room. I packed lightly with the rationalization that this trip would be short despite the outcome; either I would bring Edward back with me, or Victoria would get me first.

In the back of my mind I began to question a third option. What if I had read his note with faulty wishful thinking? I wanted nothing more than to believe that he didn't mean any of the last words he had said to me that fateful day. However, I was not one to ever doubt him. Maybe he was content with his distractions and didn't want me after all. I dismissed this idea because it didn't matter anyway. I needed to find him before he caught up to Victoria. I could never continue to live knowing he had died by Victoria's cold hands all because of me.

We took a cab to the airport at Fairbanks. For once, I was glad I did not have my old truck. I think in this instance even I would not possess the patience needed to drive at its slow speeds. Miles held my hand the entire way. It was difficult to read his face. He seemed to be attempting to be brave for me; I could sense his uneasiness by his delayed smiles whenever I looked at him.

I felt better once we were on the plane. I knew Victoria would not give me the gift of more time. I fidgeted in my seat. It was frustrating to look around at the other relaxed or even bored passengers; this was just an average day for them. The only good aspect of the lengthy flight was that I had a lot of time to think about what we would do once we landed.

"You know I am no good at tracking, Bella," Miles said. "I won't know how to go about searching for him once we get to Canada."

Yes, this was definitely am important technicality which I had not previously put much thought into. I didn't really consider _how _we would find him; I just knew we _had _to. I didn't want Miles to know that I was just as clueless as he was on how to find one vampire within all of Canada. I wracked my brain, trying to think of something. Maybe I needed more help than just Miles.

"Don't worry, I think I have an idea," I hedged, hoping that something would come to me soon so I would not be caught in a lie. Before he could inquire about my plans, I decided to distract him with another topic.

"So, where did you get the money for the cab fee and airfare? This all must be really expensive." I thought of all the hours at the Newton's store I would have to put in to even begin to pay him back for all of this. Money, in addition to a solid plan, was another consideration I had not put much thought into.

He leaned in close to my ear, nearly placing his lips on my skin. I could feel his cold breath as he whispered.

"The whole time manipulation trick comes in handy when borrowing money from wealthy vampires," he admitted. "It was actually quite exhilarating. I have never put my ability to use in that manner before." He was smiling gleefully now and I glared at him with shock.

"Oh, don't be upset with me. I only took what we needed. Trust me, they won't even notice." I continued to stare at him. "You wanted my help remember?" he said. He was right, I definitely needed his help. As much as I wanted to meet Victoria on my own, I knew it would be a lost cause. My attempts to be brave and meet James alone a year ago had shown me that I was no match for a blood-thirsty vampire. I shuddered and Miles clutched my hand tighter.

We landed just as the sun was beginning to fall behind the horizon and took yet another long cab ride to the outskirts of town. I watched the greenery rush by outside my window. The sky was a brilliant shade of violet with streaks of red and gold painted across the clouds. I still had not nailed down the details of my plan but I knew that staying as far away from other people was a must. I was tired of being responsible for endangering the lives of other people. I was so lost in thought, I jumped when Miles spoke.

"Would you believe me if I said you are the best thing to have ever happened to me?" he asked.

I turned to face him and saw he was solemnly looking at me. I was so taken back by this comment; I didn't know how to respond. I had been so utterly grateful for Miles this whole trip. I couldn't understand how I ever convinced him to join me on my insane plan, yet here he was, thanking me.

I managed to give a small laugh. "I thought you hated people," I said.

"You aren't people," he retorted. "You're Bella- someone who has changed my outlook completely. My entire existence has been nothing but contempt towards others. You have shown me compassion truly does exist. You've shown me it is possible to fight for something worth fighting for. I think you are extraordinary to risk your own life to save someone of my kind. I am so thankful to have met you. Let me assure you this Bella, for him to walk away from you, he must of had a very good reason. I don't buy his explanation."

As I looked out the window, the golden light from the streetlights began to blur in front of my eyes and a lump formed in my throat. "I hope you're right," I croaked. "I love him too much to bear losing him again."

"We will bring him back to you. I'll do whatever I can to help you, Bella. "


	11. Chapter 11

**Chapter Eleven:**

The cab driver dropped us off at the entrance to a trail head under the false pretense that we were taking a hiking trip come daybreak. We stood in the alone, watching the taillights of the cab fade into the distance. The sky had a purple hue to it with speckles of stars throughout. The silence was eerie. Miles looked at me expectantly with his eyebrows raised. I opened my mouth to speak, when I saw a group of hikers coming toward us, wearily walking to their van.

"Before we talk about my idea, let's go to a more isolated area," I said. "Do you mind running again?"

He grinned at me. "No, it is pretty fun running with someone; I don't mind at all." He took my hand as we walked off the path and into the brush before hoisting me onto his back.

It was a little scary soaring through the blackness in an area completely foreign to me. The cold wind tangled my hair. He ran a straight course for about ten minutes until he came to a standstill. The bright moon was now the only source of light. We had traveled deep into the forest.

He gently helped me off his back. "Okay. Now I have to hear this plan," he said.

I took a deep breath. I only had one idea and I hoped it was a sturdy one. "Well, it's not feasible to search the entire country, so I thought of a way we could maybe bring him to us." I paused.

"Sounds good. Continue."

"His sister, Alice, has the ability to see the future. I was thinking that if I could some way get her attention, get her to notice me, she could contact him and tell him to come to me."Miles nodded his head. I could tell he was impressed with my idea.

"What do you think would get her attention?" he asked.

I had considered this in great depth over the course of our travels. My gut told me that Alice still cared about me, at least on some level. I was sure he would have told her not to follow my future, but I thought I had found a way to make her listen.

"I think if I were in serious danger, she would not be able to ignore her visions," I said.

"No, Bella," Miles said shaking his head, angry now. "I'm not doing anything that would risk hurting you."

"Calm down," I said putting my hand on his shoulders. "We just need to make it appear to Alice that I am in danger. She will know he is relatively close and tell him to come help me."

Miles chewed on his lip and stared into the distance as he mulled this over. "What kind of danger are we talking?" he asked cautiously. I was glad that he was accepting the idea for the moment.

"I want you to pretend to attack me. Make it seem like I am seconds away from death. I will also yell for Alice's help. It has to work. It's the only chance I've got."

He ran his hand through his dark hair with a nervous expression on his face. "I'm not sure if I can be scary, but I'll try for you," he said, smirking now.

"Let's not waste any time then," I said. My heart began to pick up with anticipation.

"Whatever happens, Bella, you're the best friend I've ever had- the only friend I've ever had."

I nodded and I brought my hand to his face and lightly rubbed his pale cheek. Then I backed away a few steps.

Miles looked at his feet and took a slow breath. When he looked back up at me, my heart stopped. He looked absolutely terrifying. His eyes appeared black and hard in the moonlight. He barred his sharp teeth at me and gave a low, menacing growl. I felt a shiver go down my spine.

He lunged abruptly toward me at an inhuman speed and grabbed my jacket, shoving me against a large tree causing a rush of air to be forced from my lungs. He snarled at me as I struggled with my feet dangling off the ground. All coherent thoughts left my head; I was terrified.

"Alice!" I screamed at the top of my lungs as the vampire brought his teeth to my neck. Through my scream I heard the growl of a second vampire.

In the next second I was sitting on the ground beneath the tree. A hundred feet on front of me, Edward had Miles pinned beneath him. He was fuming with anger. I was so stunned with his presence; I could not find my voice to tell him to let Miles go.

I managed to stand up and took a half step toward them when I felt cold hands grip my arms from behind with so much strength I thought my bones would break. Her soft voice whispered into my ear.

"You made this too easy, Bella. Now I can kill you right in front of him," she sneered. I screamed with the realization that I was trapped in Victoria's grasp.

Edward's eyes darted toward me, his jaw dropping slightly. Victoria lifted my chin to expose my neck. My heart felt like it would hammer out of my chest. I prayed that this would be enough for her, that she would kill me and let Edward live. I locked my eyes on Edward as I attempted to take in his perfection for the last time.

Then suddenly, the chaos stopped. Victoria was unmoving behind me and Edward was frozen in mid-sprint. Miles had stilled time. He stood now were Edward had thrown him.

"Bella, get away from her!" Miles shouted at me. He ran to me and helped ease me from Victoria's tight grasp. He picked me up into his arms and carried me a safe distance away.

"Let's end this," he said darkly and he reversed his power over them. Victoria grasped at the empty space in front of her, wide-eyed and confused. Her hesitation was half a second too long as Edward jumped on her shoulders, gripping around her fiery red hair and sending her head tumbling down to the ground. The rest of her body crumpled at his feet.


	12. Chapter 12 and Epilogue

**Chapter Twelve:**

Edward stood still now. I could hardly make out his expression in the darkness and I cursed my weak human eyes for failing me at this moment. My breathing was heavy as I wondered what his reaction would be. He stared at me with my arms locked tightly around Miles' neck. I was sure Edward was reading his mind, as Miles replayed the previous few minutes in his head. I looked to Miles and he nodded, setting me down on my feet. My legs wobbled as I practically ran to Edward.

He approached me slowly with his arms open to catch me. His eyes were a soft black like liquid ink. The purple bruises under his eyes were darker than normal. My blurry memories of him did not compare to his beauty in person. "Bella, I'm so sorry," he said. "I was chasing Victoria when Alice called me saying you were in trouble. I'm sorry I left you in so much danger." I hugged him tightly, taking in the sweet scent I had missed so much. The damage of the past year vanished as if it were never real at all, as if I had dreamt the entire thing. None of it mattered. I was here with him now and I had never felt stronger.

I sighed with relief as I gripped him as tightly as I could. "I know why you really left," I said. "I found your note. Edward, you have to believe me that there is nothing I need more than you."My voice sounded so mangled I wasn't sure if he could understand me.

He lifted my chin to cup my face with him hands. My tears pooled into his palms. "Leaving you was the biggest mistake of my existence. I promise to never put you through anything like that ever again." He kissed my tears away before bringing his lips gently to mine.

"Bella! Are you alright?" I heard a familiar voice call. Alice and Jasper where walking toward us. Their eyes glanced between me and Edward, what was left of Victoria, and Miles.

"All of a sudden I had a vision of you screaming my name. You scared me to death!"

I ran to her now, locking my arms around her petite frame. "Thank you so much, Alice," I cried. "You saved all of us." I looked over her shoulder to see Jasper staring at Miles. He clearly recognized him.

"Uh, Edward, Jasper, Alice- this is Miles," I stated in a rush to crush the tension. "He goes to my college. He helped me find you and saved me from Victoria. He's my friend."

Miles and Jasper slowly walked toward each other. "It's been a long time, Miles" Jasper said. His voice was cool and even.

"Yes, it has," Miles said meekly. His body was tense as if he preparing himself for an impending impact.

Jasper stopped a few feet in front of him and stuck out his hand. "Bella is like a little sister to me. Thank you for taking care of her," he said. Miles shook his hand. I could tell he was looking at the many scars on his bare arm and I wondered if he knew which mark he had created. Then they walked back to join the rest of us.

Miles smiled at me. "You were right, Bella. They really are family to you." I smiled back at him.

"I will be indebted to you forever," Edward said to him.

Miles laughed. "Don't worry about it; just helping out a friend," he said. "I guess I better get going."

"Are you going back to school?" I asked him.

"Nah, I think a century of living as a loner is long enough. I think I may go see about a girl," he smiled to himself.

"Tell Tanya the Cullens say hello," Edward said grinning at him.

Miles pulled me in for a gentle hug. "Try to stay out of danger's way for a while, girly," he said as he tousled my hair. He then waved goodbye to all of us before turning on his heal to race into the dark woods. It was only seconds before I could no longer hear his footsteps. It was then that the past day caught up with me. My head felt light, partially from the relief of Victoria being dead and partly from being back in Edward's arms.

Edward picked me up and held me at his chest. "Let's go home, Bella," he said. I could vaguely tell we were moving. I kept my eyes open, studying his face for as long as I could manage. When my eyelids became too heavy I settled for listening to his slow and even breathing. For the first time in almost a year, I fell into a deep, dreamless sleep.

* * *

**Epilogue: **

After a few days of playing hooky in order to reunite with the rest of the Cullens and spend some long over-due time with Edward, it was time to go back to class. My grades were pretty poor before I left for Vancouver, and now I was on the verge of failing the semester and wasting Charlie's money. Luckily, I had a wonderful tutor, for Edward decided to enroll at the university as well. He said the dean made an acceptation and allowed him to enter late in the semester; however, I think a little bribery and perhaps some fear was used.

Even while I was blissfully happy with Edward again, I still missed Miles. I felt as if our friendship was short-lived. Edward said he would gladly take me to Denali to visit whenever I wanted. I knew I would take him up on the offer.

"You have proven my point about being a danger magnet, once again," he teased me one day when we were studying together. "I leave you for a few months and you manage to befriend a werewolf, partner up with another vampire, and nearly get yourself killed by Victoria."

"Maybe it helps to prove _my_ point," I replied. "That I do belong in your world."

He sighed at that. "You're so stubborn, Bella," he said with a husky voice, leaning closer to me. He glided the tip of his nose across my cheekbone before bringing his lips to mine. Since his return, Edward had more fever to his kisses. It showed me he had been hurting without me just as much as I had without him. I could never get enough of him.

I wasn't sure how I would go about telling Charlie that Edward and I had reunited. I was even more concerned about how Jake would react. But above all else, I was perfectly content to live in the present. No longer was I trying desperately to hang on to my memories from the past, afraid that they would fade away. Nor was I dreading a future without the ones I loved most. Miles may not have realized it, but he had taught me to value every small moment, no matter how seemingly insignificant. As I shared a perfect kiss with Edward, it was almost as if time stood still.

* * *

**A/N: Thank you for reading! Maybe one day I'll find the time to flesh-out the story some more. Hope you liked it anyway :)**


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